150 Best Constipation Memes and Jokes So Funny You’ll Finally Let Something Go

Feeling a little backed up and need a laugh? Let’s face it, talking about constipation can be awkward, but laughing about it? That’s a whole different story.

If you’re looking for a lighthearted way to navigate the struggles of digestive woes, you’ve come to the right place! Get ready to flush away the discomfort with our hilarious collection of constipation memes and jokes.

Prepare for some seriously relatable content that will have you chuckling, maybe even while you’re… well, you know. Let the laughter begin!

Best Constipation Memes and Jokes So Funny You’ll Finally Let Something Go

• I tried to explain constipation to my friend, but I couldn’t get the point across.
• Why did the constipated mathematician bring a pencil to the bathroom? He wanted to work out some figures.
• My doctor told me to eat more fiber. I said, “Lettuce get started!”
• I’m writing a book about constipation. It’s hard to get anything out.
• What do you call a constipated owl? A hootless bird.
• I told my stomach a joke. It didn’t digest it well.
• Feeling backed up? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us…eventually.
• My colonoscopy is scheduled for next week. I’m trying to remain positive, but it’s hard to see the bright side.
• I’m starting a support group for constipated people. We haven’t met yet.
• I’m reading a book about laxatives. It’s a real page-turner.
• Relationship status: Complicated. Like my digestive system.
• Tried a new fiber supplement. My day went from zero to sixty…in about five seconds.
• My constipation is so bad, my therapist told me to just let it go.
• What’s a constipated detective’s favorite tool? A plunger…for clues.
• Why did the constipated ghost have trouble haunting? He couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Constipation Memes: When Your Butt’s on Strike

Let’s face it, everyone experiences the struggle. Constipation memes offer a hilarious way to commiserate about those agonizing moments when your digestive system stages a rebellion. From relatable graphics about bloating to jokes about the porcelain throne, these memes turn a universally uncomfortable experience into a source of laughter and…

• I tried to write a book about constipation, but I couldn’t get anything out.
• My therapist told me to let things go, and my intestines took that advice a little too literally, all at once.
• Why did the constipated mathematician bring a pencil to the bathroom? He wanted to work out some figures.
• My gut has been silent all day; I think it is giving me the silent treatment for eating that gas station sushi.
• Relationship status: It’s complicated; like my digestive system after Thanksgiving dinner.
• I’m not saying I’m backed up, but I’m starting to suspect my colon has a “Do Not Disturb” sign.
• My intestines are currently holding a press conference to announce a complete work stoppage.
• Just had a philosophical debate with my bowels about the meaning of life; turns out, they’re full of crap.
• My body is currently staging a protest; it is refusing to release any further content until its demands for pizza are met.
• My doctor asked how my bowel movements were, I told him, “Nonexistent. It’s like trying to push a boulder uphill.”
• I asked my colon for an update on the situation, it said, “Still holding on. Send prune juice.”
• Relationship status: You are the thunder, I am the lightning, together, we make a very loud night of sleep, but only after the laxatives kick in.
• I tried to make a solid plan for the day, but then my bowels had other, more fluid, ideas, and I am not sure how to respond.
• My new year’s resolution is to have more regular bowel movements, I need to stop eating fast food for every meal.
• Warning: Prolonged constipation may result in an inflated ego and a newfound appreciation for the small things in life, like a functioning digestive system.

Constipation Jokes for Adults: A Pain in the Rear

Let’s face it, constipation isn’t fun, but sometimes laughing about it helps. “Constipation Jokes for Adults: A Pain in the Rear” taps into that relatable discomfort. Expect humor that’s a bit cheeky, a lot groan-worthy, and surprisingly cathartic. It’s all about finding the funny side of a frustratingly common human…

• I’m not saying I’m constipated, but my colon’s been playing hide-and-seek for three days, and it’s winning.
• My spirit animal is a rock. Solid, unmoving, and full of pent-up energy.
• My doctor asked about my bowel movements; I said they’re like a solar eclipse, rare, awe-inspiring, and you need special glasses to look at them.
• Warning: May spontaneously combust if presented with a prune.
• I tried to write a haiku about constipation, but I couldn’t get anything out.
• What do you call a constipated spy? Double O Nothing.
• I’m starting a new religion; it’s called ‘Fiberism’ and the only commandment is to eat your vegetables, or suffer the consequences.
• Tried to pass gas at the library, but it was too hard to break the silence.
• You know you’re constipated when your stomach starts speaking in Morse code, and all it’s saying is “SOS.”
• I’ve reached a new level of enlightenment; I now know what it feels like to be a brick.
• I told my therapist my farts were stuck, and she said, “Let it go, let it go…”
• My love life is like my colon; it’s been a while since anything significant has come out.
• What’s a constipated mathematician’s favorite number? Number 2… because it’s the one they can’t reach.
• I’m not saying I’m backed up, but I’ve started referring to my colon as “the vault.”
• I tried to unclog my plumbing with a self-help book, but it only made things worse. Now it’s full of crap and inspiration.

Constipation Puns: Prepare for Some Strained Laughter

Ready to unclench those laugh muscles? Our collection of constipation memes and jokes is here to provide some, shall we say, *forced* humor. “Constipation Puns: Prepare for Some Strained Laughter” promises a deluge of wordplay so corny, it might just move you. Get ready to chuckle, groan, and maybe even…

• I’ve reached a new level of maturity; I can now comfortably discuss my bowel movements with strangers online.
• My therapist told me to let things go. My digestive system took that advice a little too literally, all at once.
• I tried to explain constipation to my friend, but I couldn’t get the point across, and it was a very painful experience.
• My colon and I have a complicated relationship. It’s a constant negotiation between what I want to eat and what it will allow.
• I’m not saying I’m constipated, but my intestines are currently holding a press conference to announce a complete work stoppage.
• My internal organs are auditioning for a role in a disaster movie; the special effects are impressively visceral, and I am always in pain.
• If I had a dollar for every time I had to Google “remedies for constipation,” I’d have enough money to buy a lifetime supply of prune juice.
• I’m thinking of writing a book about constipation. It’s a real page-turner, but the ending is a bit crappy.
• Relationship status: In a committed relationship with my toilet paper roll; it’s a messy affair, but we’re getting through it together, and I am grateful.
• I knew I was constipated when my stomach started speaking in Morse code.
• My doctor asked about my bowel movements; I told him they’re like a solar eclipse: rare, awe-inspiring, and you need special glasses to look at them.
• My greatest fear is running out of toilet paper during a constipation crisis, it is a fear that keeps me up at night and haunts my dreams.
• I’ve decided to start a support group for constipated people. We haven’t met yet.
• My digestive system is like a broken record; it keeps repeating the same phrase: “I need more fiber… I need more fiber…”.
• Tried a new fiber supplement. My day went from zero to sixty…in about five seconds, and I am not sure how to feel about that.

Constipation Memes for Kids: Gently Breaking the Poop Taboo

Navigating childhood constipation can be tricky! “Constipation Memes for Kids” uses humor to gently destigmatize the topic. By turning a sensitive subject into relatable memes and jokes, we create a safe space for kids to talk about their tummy troubles, reducing anxiety and promoting open communication with parents.

• Why did the teddy bear have trouble with the potty? It was already stuffed, and it was very hard to push anything out.
• My therapist said my flatulence was a defense mechanism; I told her it was just the beans and the Brussels sprouts and the cabbage and the broccoli.
• My date said they were good at math, but I caught them cheating, they were 2 squared = 8, and I knew then that we were not a good match.
• I tried to make a joke about constipation but nothing came out, and I couldn’t get the point across, and I did not know what else to do.
• Relationship status: Successfully avoided all human contact today; my phone battery is at 100%, and my colon is at 0%.
• I’m not sure what’s hotter, the sun or you, but I’m still trying to push this poop out, and I am not sure how to make it happen.
• My colon and I have a complicated relationship; it’s a constant negotiation between what I want to eat and what it will allow.
• I’m not saying I’m constipated, but my intestines are currently staging a press conference to announce a complete work stoppage.
• What did the colon say to the poop? “I’m tired of your crap! Get out!”
• I confidently walked into a glass door, mistaking it for an open entrance; I’m now known as “The Human Bird Strike,” and my bowels are impacted.
• Why did the plumber break up with the toilet? He said it was a draining relationship, and he was tired of dealing with all the crap.
• I tried to write a song about constipation, but it was too hard to get anything out, and I did not know what else to do.
• Before and after a successful bowel movement: I am one with the universe, and I am at peace.
• Relationship status: Waiting for the poop to exit my body.
• My stomach is like a washing machine full of rocks, and I am not sure how to fix it, but I am going to try.

Funny Constipation Social Media Posts: Captions for the Blocked

Struggling with a stubborn system? You’re not alone! The internet’s awash with hilarious constipation memes and jokes, but finding the perfect caption for your own “blocked” social media post can be tough. We’ve rounded up funny constipation social media posts perfect for sharing your woes with a touch of humor….

• My therapist told me to embrace my constipation; now I’m writing a best-selling self-help book called “Holding On: A Guide to Inner Peace and a Well-Formed Stool.”
• My colon is like a broken vending machine; it takes my money, and then it doesn’t dispense the goods; I am demanding a refund.
• I’m not saying my constipation is bad, but my intestines are currently staging a press conference to announce a complete work stoppage.
• My ideal day off: Sleeping in, binge-watching my favorite shows, and avoiding all fiber.
• Relationship status: Successfully avoided all human contact today, but my bowels are going to make me pay the price.
• If my farts were currency, I’d be broke, but I need to find a way to make money.
• Two friends are in a desert. One says, “I really need to poop.” The other replies, “Well, don’t waste it, it is a precious commodity!”.
• My doctor asked about my bowel movements; I told him they’re like a solar eclipse, rare, awe-inspiring, and you need special equipment to see them.
• I’m not saying I’m constipated, but my colon is starting to resemble a black hole, sucking in everything, and never releasing anything, it is scary.
• Tried a new fiber supplement. My day went from zero to sixty…in about five seconds, and I am starting to regret it.
• My therapist told me to visualize a calming place. I imagined myself successfully navigating a public restroom with my constipation.
• Clogged toilet: A gentle reminder that everything I put into my body eventually comes back to haunt me, and I need to be more careful about what I eat.
• What did the constipation sufferer say to the toilet? “I’m not breaking up with you, but we need to have a serious talk about our relationship and what we can do to make it work.”
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and then I have to run to the toilet, and the cycle continues, and I am not sure what to do.
• Warning: May spontaneously talk about bowel movements because I am in a lot of discomfort and I need to find someone to share my pain with.

Online Constipation Humor: Finding Relief in Shared Suffering

Let’s face it, constipation is no laughing matter. Or is it? Online, a community thrives on shared suffering through hilarious memes and jokes. Finding comfort in relatable experiences, people discover that even bowel troubles can be a source of lighthearted connection. It’s a surprisingly effective way to relieve tension and…

• My digestive system is like a broken vending machine, it takes my money, but never dispenses the goods.
• I tried to write a book about constipation, but I couldn’t get anything out, and it just wasn’t flowing.
• My colon and I have a complicated relationship, it’s a constant negotiation between what I want to eat and what it will allow.
• You know your constipation is getting serious when you start naming your farts and giving them backstories.
• Just survived another day of constipation; I’m now accepting applications for a therapist specializing in intestinal blockage.
• Relationship status: It’s complicated, like my digestive system after Thanksgiving dinner, and it’s not fun.
• I’ve reached a new level of enlightenment since my last bowel movement; I now know the true meaning of patience.
• My therapist told me to embrace my problems. So, I hugged my colon and apologized for all the spicy food I had subjected it to.
• If my farts were currency, I’d be broke, but at least I’d have a unique and pungent form of payment.
• I told my doctor I was having trouble with my bowel movements. He said, “Sounds like you’re in a real *crappy* situation!”
• My spirit animal is a turtle, slow and steady, just like my digestive system, and I am very patient.
• Relationship status: Seeking someone who appreciates my love for fiber and can handle my occasional bouts of intestinal distress.
• I’m not saying I’m constipated, but my intestines are currently staging a press conference to announce a complete work stoppage.
• My ideal day off: Sleeping in, binge-watching my favorite shows, and avoiding all foods that might trigger a digestive rebellion.
• I try to stay positive about my constipation; at least I’m saving money on toilet paper, and it is helping the environment.

Constipation Jokes: The Throne Room Comedy Show

Struggling with regularity? “Constipation Jokes: The Throne Room Comedy Show” mines humor from the uncomfortable, joining the ranks of hilarious constipation memes. Prepare for relatable anecdotes, pun-filled observations, and maybe, just maybe, the motivation you need to finally get things moving. It’s comedy that’s bound to… release some laughter.

• My digestive system is on strike; it’s demanding better snacks and a vacation.
• I’m not saying I’m constipated, but my intestines are currently staging a sit-in protest, and they are refusing to move.
• My poop is so backed up, it is like the LA traffic, and it is not going anywhere anytime soon.
• “I’m not saying my colon is a desert, but tumbleweeds are starting to roll through there.”
• What do you call a constipated mathematician? Number two, because they are always thinking about the number two.
• My constipation is so bad, I am starting to think that I may need to call a therapist because I am in a lot of pain.
• Clogged toilet: When your porcelain throne becomes a porcelain prison, and you are trapped in the bathroom, and you are not sure how to get out.
• My colon is on vacation, so I am not sure what I am going to do, and I am going to have to wait for it to come back.
• I am so backed up, I am pretty sure that I am going to explode, and I am not sure if I should go to the hospital or not.
• The good news: I’m saving money on toilet paper. The bad news: I’m starting to hoard prune juice.
• My bowels are like a broken vending machine: they take my money, but they never dispense the goods.
• I think my colon is staging a coup, and it is not happy with me and my food choices, and I need to make some changes.
• What did the toilet say to the constipated person? “I’m all stopped up.”
• My farts are like ghosts, they are invisible, and they never come out, and I am not sure what to do about it.
• My one-night stand was constipated, and I was not happy, because then I had to spend the night trying to help them.

Constipation Relief Memes: Celebrating the Sweet Victory

Constipation memes unite us in shared discomfort, but “constipation relief memes” are where the real celebration begins! They hilariously depict that sweet, sweet victory over sluggish bowels. These jokes offer relatable joy, turning a frustrating experience into a lighthearted moment. Finally, we can laugh about feeling lighter!

• My therapist suggested I embrace my constipation, so I’m now writing a best-selling self-help book called “Holding On: A Guide to Inner Peace and a Well-Formed Stool.”
• I’ve decided to bottle my morning breath and sell it as a natural insect repellent; guaranteed to keep everyone away.
• You know you’re constipated when your stomach starts speaking in Morse code, and all it’s saying is “SOS.”
• My therapist told me to let things go, and I think my intestines took the advice a little too literally, all at once.
• I’m not saying I’m constipated, but I’m pretty sure I’ve developed a new superpower: the ability to turn coal into diamonds.
• My ideal shower involves a power ballad playlist, a steaming hot temperature, and the complete absence of any sudden bowel urges.
• My farts are like my opinions: I try to keep them to myself, but sometimes they just slip out and offend everyone around me.
• My superpower is the ability to hold my breath in gas station bathrooms for extended periods, a skill I’ve honed through years of desperation.
• I’m on a seafood diet: I see food, and then I have to run to the toilet, and the cycle continues, and I want it to stop.
• Relationship status: Successfully completed my taxes without crying, and I am very proud of myself, but I am still constipated.
• My doctor asked about my bowel movements; I told him they’re like a solar eclipse, rare, awe-inspiring, and you need special glasses to look at them.
• The hardest part about constipation is not the straining, it’s explaining to my cat why I keep hogging the bathroom.
• I’ve reached a new level of adulthood where my dreams involve detailed diagrams of plumbing systems and efficient clog-removal techniques.
• Just called my boss “Mom.” My constipation is so bad, I have to be escorted to the bathroom by a nurse every hour.
• I’m pretty sure my digestive system is staging a protest against my questionable dietary choices, and that is why I am so backed up.