150 Best Funny Cobra Memes and Jokes That Will Make You Hiss-terical

Ready to be charmed… and maybe a little terrified? Cobras, those majestic and venomous snakes, are surprisingly hilarious fodder for internet memes. We’ve slithered through the web to bring you the best collection of funny cobra memes and jokes guaranteed to make you hiss with laughter.

Forget your worries and prepare to be amused by these serpentine shenanigans. From cobra puns that strike with wit to images capturing their, let’s say, unique personalities, this is your ultimate dose of cobra humor.

So, coil up and get ready to enjoy some seriously funny cobra memes and jokes!

Best Funny Cobra Memes and Jokes That Will Make You Hiss-terical

• Why did the cobra cross the road? To get to the other ssssside! (It’s funnier if you hiss while saying it).
• My therapist told me to embrace my fears. So, I hugged a cobra. Now I have bigger fears AND a rash.
• Cobra Kai? More like Cobra “Why did I just get bit?!”
• I tried to teach my cobra to play fetch. Now I’m missing a frisbee and have a newfound respect for leg day… because I ran.
• What do you call a cobra that’s a good detective? An investi-gator.
• “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Cobra.” “Cobra who?” “Cobra-bly the last person you’ll ever see!”
• Cobra: *exists* Me: *suddenly fluent in interpretive dance to signal for help*
• Why don’t cobras make good comedians? Their jokes are always too biting.
• I saw a cobra wearing a tiny hat. I thought, “That’s a fancy snake!” Then I remembered I was hallucinating from the venom.
• My cobra just asked me for a raise. I said, “You’re already paid in mice!” It said, “Yeah, but inflation, dude. Mice are expensive now.”
• What’s a cobra’s favorite type of music? Hiss-torical ballads.
• Trying to train my cobra to be a therapy animal. Turns out, “emotional support cobra” isn’t as comforting as it sounds.
• My cobra’s having an existential crisis. He keeps asking, “Am I a ssssnake, or am I dancer?”
• That awkward moment when you accidentally step on a cobra and it just looks up at you like, “Seriously?”
• I told my cobra a joke. It didn’t laugh, it just shed a tear. Turns out, it was a corneal abrasion.

Cobra Kai-nte Get Enough: Hilarious Cobra Puns for Karate Kid Fans

Need a laugh? “Cobra Kai-nte Get Enough” serves up hilarious Cobra Kai puns that even Johnny Lawrence might crack a smile at. This book is perfect for Karate Kid fans seeking lighthearted humor and clever wordplay. Dive into a collection of funny Cobra memes and jokes that will have you…

• “Strike first, strike hard, no mercy…unless they offer a really good hiss-tory lesson.”
• Cobra Kai student’s LinkedIn profile: “Seeking opportunities to slither into a leadership position and strike fear into the competition.”
• Why did the cobra start a band? To make music that really strikes a chord with its listeners.
• Cobra Kai therapist: “So, tell me about your anger issues. Do you often find yourself hissing at people?”
• “I’m not saying I’m a tough sensei, but my students know better than to cross me, or they’ll face my cobra wrath.”
• What’s a cobra’s favorite board game? Snakes and Ladders, because it reminds them of their journey to the top.
• “I tried to join Cobra Kai, but I just couldn’t strike a balance between discipline and cobra-dramatic flair.”
• Why did the cobra become a motivational speaker? To inspire others to strike first, strike hard, and achieve their goals.
• “I’m not saying I’m a Cobra Kai black belt, but I can fold a fitted sheet with one hand and no mercy.”
• What do you call a Cobra Kai member with a snake? A cobra charmer.
• “My therapist told me to embrace my inner cobra, so now I just hiss at anyone who annoys me.”
• Cobra Kai dating advice: “Always strike first, make a bold move, and don’t be afraid to shed your old skin for a new relationship.”
• “I’m not sure what’s worse, my student loan debt or that I’m being trained to have no mercy.”
• What’s a cobra’s favorite type of music? Anything that makes you want to slither and strike a pose.
• “I’m always one strike ahead of you, do you want to see if this is a hisstory or a herstory?”

Cobra Commander’s Comedy Corner: G.I. Joe Inspired Funny Cobra Memes

Ever wondered what Cobra Commander does in his downtime? Probably not, but now you will! “Cobra Commander’s Comedy Corner” dishes out G.I. Joe inspired Cobra memes and jokes that hilariously explore the lighter side of world domination attempts. Prepare for surprisingly funny takes on failures, schemes, and the eternal frustration…

• Why did Cobra Commander cross the road? To dominate the other side… and maybe pick up some dry cleaning.
• Cobra Commander’s dating profile: Seeking world domination partner. Must enjoy monologues and elaborate doomsday devices. Henchmen not included.
• I told Cobra Commander a joke about Destro. He didn’t laugh, he just said, “Silence! His metallurgical genius is not a laughing matter!”
• Cobra Commander’s biggest fear: G.I. Joe’s unwavering moral compass and the existential dread of failing to conquer the world.
• Cobra Commander’s therapist: “So, tell me about your recurring dream of being defeated by a ninja dressed as a bear.”
• Cobra Commander: “I’m not saying I’m a micromanager, but I do have a spreadsheet tracking every single bullet fired by Cobra troops.”
• Cobra Commander to his troops: “We will dominate the world, even if I have to yell at each and every one of you individually until it happens!”
• Relationship status: Looking for a strong woman, to be more precise, a Baroness to dominate the world with.
• Cobra Commander’s LinkedIn profile: Seeking opportunities to leverage my leadership skills and strategic planning in a challenging global environment (world domination preferred).
• Cobra Commander walks into a library, he is looking for a book on how to dominate the world, the librarian responds, “Check the self-help section.”
• Cobra Commander’s life coach told him to embrace his failures; now he’s holding a seminar on “How to Almost Conquer the World.”
• Cobra Commander: “I’m not crazy, I’m just strategically eccentric.”
• G.I. Joe: “We will never give up!” Cobra Commander: “That’s exactly what I want you to think!”
• Cobra Commander’s motivational poster: “Failure is not an option… unless it involves elaborate explosions and dramatic escapes.”
• Cobra Commander: I am always being asked, “Do you have any world domination plans?” I wish people would stop asking.

Scales of Laughter: Funny Cobra Jokes That Are Absolutely Hiss-terical

Ready to be charmed by some slithering humor? “Scales of Laughter” explores the world of funny cobra memes and jokes. Prepare for puns so corny they’ll make you hiss with delight! Discover cobra jokes that are absolutely hiss-terical. It’s a collection guaranteed to inject some venomous fun into your day.

• Cobra Kai, where the only thing more dangerous than the karate is the 80s fashion.
• Cobra’s dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good squeeze, and doesn’t mind my venomous charm.
• Cobra Commander: I’m not evil; I’m just misunderstood, and my plans always have a little hiss-tory to them.
• I am a cobra, and I’m here to tell you: life is all about striking first, and always having a plan to shed my skin.
• Overheard at Cobra Kai: “Wax on, wax off? More like hiss on, hiss off.”
• Cobra problems: When you try to hypnotize someone, but they just think you’re winking.
• Why did the cobra become a motivational speaker? Because he knew how to strike a chord with his audience and slither to the top of the motivational charts.
• You know you are a cobra when you wake up and you have to decide, “Do I hiss or do I swallow someone whole?”
• “I’m not saying I’m dramatic, but I could win an Oscar for my death feigning routine.”
• I tried to start a cobra-themed garden, but it was too much work to get the scale-ret.
• “I’m just a cobra trying to find my way in this human world and hoping I don’t accidentally slither into the wrong neighborhood.”
• Cobra LinkedIn profile: Seeking opportunities to leverage my striking speed and hypnotizing gaze in a challenging environment.
• “I’m not sure what my purpose is, but I’m really good at intimidating people, so that’s something.”
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner cobra. Now, I just hiss at anyone who annoys me.
• The cobra was a terrible comedian, his jokes were always too biting.

Venomous Vines: The Funniest Cobra Social Media Posts and Captions

Dive into the hilarious world of cobra humor! “Venomous Vines” compiles the best cobra social media posts and captions, showcasing their unexpected wit. Forget the fear; these memes and jokes reveal the lighter side of these fascinating reptiles. Get ready for some serious hissteria and a whole lot of laughs!

• Cobra: “I’m not saying I’m dramatic, but I could win an Oscar for my shedding process.”
• Cobra trying to use a dating app. “Seeking a ssserious relationship, must appreciate my scales and not mind my striking personality.”
• Just a cobra slithering through life, trying to find someone who appreciates my smooth moves and venomous charm.
• Why did the cobra become a therapist? He was great at helping his patients shed their old skin and move on.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner cobra, now I just hiss at people who annoy me.
• If I had a dollar for every time someone was sssurprised by my forked tongue, I’d be rich enough to buy a sssnake-sized mansion.
• What does a cobra say when they are going to rob a bank? This is a stick-up, sssurrender the cash.
• Cobra’s LinkedIn profile: Seeking opportunities to leverage my striking speed and hypnotizing gaze in a challenging environment.
• “Warning: May spontaneously hiss if startled or exposed to cheesy pick-up lines.”
• “I’m not lazy, I’m just in energy-saving mode, like a cobra conserving its venom for a good strike.”
• If you can’t handle me at my hiss, you don’t deserve me at my sssmooth.
• “May spontaneously hypnotize you with my alluring gaze, so proceed with caution.”
• Cobra’s review of the new restaurant: “The ambiance was great, but the service was a little slow. It took them forever to bring the mice.”
• A cobra walks into a library and asks for books about himself. The librarian whispers, “They’re under ‘self-help’!”
• Cobra fortune cookie: “A new opportunity will strike soon, be ready to shed your old skin and embrace the change.”

Cobra Kids: Jokes and Memes That Are Safe for the Whole Family

Looking for funny cobra memes and jokes the whole family can enjoy? Cobra Kids delivers! We curate hilarious, age-appropriate content featuring these fascinating snakes. Expect silly scenarios, pun-filled jokes, and adorable cobra illustrations. It’s all about laughter without the bite, perfect for sharing with kids and adults alike.

• Cobra Commander’s dating profile picture: A selfie with Destro, each holding a kitten.
• Cobra Commander: “I’m not a control freak, it’s just that everyone is better when they are following my instructions.”
• What do you call a Cobra soldier who’s always running late? Slow-bra.
• “The only thing stopping me from world domination is traffic.” – Cobra Commander
• If Cobra Commander started a cleaning service, it would be called “Cobra Clean” – We’ll strike your dirt fast, and with no mercy!
• Why did the Cobra soldier bring a ladder to the base? He heard morale was low, and wanted to lift their spirits.
• Cobra Commander’s motivational speech: “Today we will win! Or at least cause a moderate amount of chaos.”
• How does Cobra Commander take his tea? With a little de-STROY-er.
• “May spontaneously shed my skin at the most inappropriate time, so please be understanding.”
• Cobra Commander: “I’m not saying I’m evil, but I do have a theme song and a secret lair.”
• “Looking for someone who appreciates a good hiss-tory lesson and knows how to rock a cool pair of shades.”
• Why did the Cobra soldier get a job as a lifeguard? He was great at cobra-ling his way through the crowd.
• Cobra Commander’s favorite book? “How to Win Friends and Influence People… with mind control devices.”
• “I’m not always plotting world domination, but when I am, I prefer to do it in style.”
• What’s a cobra’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!

Striking Humor: Adult-Themed Funny Cobra Jokes (18+)

Looking for cobra jokes with a bite? Our adult-themed section delivers humor that’s definitely not for the faint of heart. Prepare for risqué reptile puns and suggestive snake situations. This collection is strictly 18+, so leave your innocence at the door and get ready to hiss with laughter at these…

• Dating me is like being hypnotized; you’ll be under my control, and you won’t remember a thing in the morning.
• My love life is like a cobra in a mongoose convention: short, intense, and likely to end in a fight.
• Why did the cobra get a job as a masseuse? For smooth moves and venomous touch.
• I’m a cobra, so I know a thing or two about handling long, hard objects.
• My ideal first date? A moonlit desert walk, followed by a venom extraction demonstration.
• I’m here to break hearts and strangle the competition, and I’m all out of competition.
• Warning: May spontaneously shed my skin at the most inappropriate time, so please be understanding.
• I like my partners like I like my prey: submissive, and ready to be consumed.
• My pickup line: “Are you a mongoose? Because I’m feeling an uncontrollable urge to strike you.”
• Relationship status: Seeking someone who appreciates a good hiss and knows how to handle my snake-like charm.
• You must be a snake charmer, because you have me wrapped around your finger.
• “I’m not saying I’m dangerous, but I have a venomous personality, and I know how to use it.”
• My body is like a snake, it’s long, hard, and always ready to strike.
• Why did the cobra get kicked out of the poker game? He was always playing with a stacked deck and a cold-blooded stare.
• Just a cobra, looking for a mongoose, who is going to appreciate my curves, my kiss, and my venomous touch.

Slithering Stand-Up: Cobra Jokes So Bad, They’re Good

Dive into the hilarious world of cobra comedy! “Slithering Stand-Up” serves up jokes so corny, they’re pure gold. We’re talking hisses and misses that somehow hit the funny bone. Prepare for cobra puns, reptile roasts, and memes so bad, you’ll be charmed. Get ready to embrace the absurdity!

• Cobra Commander’s LinkedIn profile: Seeking world domination internship, must be able to handle monologues and an occasional hissy fit.
• What do you call a cobra that can’t stop talking? A motormouth, just spitting venom.
• Trying to get my life together, but I keep getting distracted by shiny objects.
• “I’m not saying I’m a control freak, but I have a binder with detailed plans for every possible scenario.”
• You might call me a snake, but I can’t help but slither into your heart.
• Breaking news: Local Cobra wins staring contest against a basilisk, prompting debate about the definition of “eye contact.”
• My dating profile picture is me in front of a pile of money; most mongoose swipe left.
• I tried to start a band with cobras, but they only played hisss-torical instruments.
• Cobra: “My therapist told me to embrace my inner snake.” Friend: “Did you hiss at her?”
• Just a cobra, trying to find my way in this human world and hoping I don’t accidentally swallow someone’s pet hamster.
• I’m trying to start a cobra-themed clothing line, I need to scale up my business plan.
• My New Year’s resolution is to be more open and honest, but it is hisss-tory in the making.
• “I must go, my people need hissing.”
• My therapist told me to stop bottling up my emotions, so now I hiss at everyone.
• What do you call a cobra in a rock band? The hiss guitarist.

Cobra Catchphrases: Meme-Worthy One-Liners for Reptile Lovers

Dive into the hilarious world of cobras with “Cobra Catchphrases: Meme-Worthy One-Liners for Reptile Lovers!” This guide is packed with witty phrases perfect for adding a venomous punchline to any funny cobra meme or joke. Get ready to hiss with laughter and share these reptilian ripostes with your fellow snake…

• “Cobra Kai never dies, but my phone battery always does.”
• “Cobra Commander: Because world domination is serious business, but a good theme song is essential.”
• “I’m not slithering, I’m just practicing my cobra-ography.”
• “May spontaneously hiss at anyone who cuts me off in traffic. It’s a cobra-matic response.”
• “Cobra Kai Dating Tip: Always strike first, especially when it comes to grabbing the last slice of pizza.”
• “My therapist told me to embrace my inner cobra, so I’m now just silently judging everyone and occasionally shedding my skin.”
• “Just a cobra trying to find someone who can appreciate my smooth moves and venomous charm.”
• “I’m not sure what’s worse, my student loan debt or the fact that I can dislocate my jaw to swallow large prey whole.”
• “I tried to join Cobra Kai, but I just couldn’t strike a balance between discipline and cobra-dramatic flair.”
• “Relationship status: Seeking someone who appreciates my cool exterior and doesn’t mind a little venom.”
• “Cobra Commander’s guide to public speaking: Always start with a dramatic entrance and end with a menacing hiss.”
• “Cobra’s biggest fear: A world without mice, and the existential dread of having to eat salad.”
• “This is not the snake oil you’re looking for.”
• “Just a cobra, trying to navigate this human world and hoping I don’t accidentally swallow someone’s pet hamster.”
• “Cobra: Powered by sunshine, snacks, and a healthy dose of side-eye.”